Hi! Today, I’ll be criticising another poor person’s site. Today’s site in question will be  Site of the Nuode. In this entry, you’ll find out everything wrong with this website.

 

The homepage

Firstly, let us start with the favicon. Normal sites use a normal favicon.ico, however this awful person dares to use a PNG file instead of a favicon. Also, favicons should be 16×16 and not super high resolution. How dare he make us download a super high resolution PNG file! Here, you can see the code: Line 16 of index.html. This is an awful programming practise for a site that claims he is good at programming. Really. It’s disgusting.

Next, let’s talk about the disgusting scrolling text. Immediately upon entering the page, you’re greeted by this ghastly scrolling text trying to be edgy and cool. I’m absolutely disgusted by this practise. Please, you’re not really amazing at programming, stop trying to show off your amazing English skills here. It’s disgusting that it’s even hosted on GitHub. No sane person would want to host this atrocious piece of crap. Seriously.

Moving on, let’s talk about grammar, shall we.

Located in SG, I am just a random kid that builds this website. I’m part of RIRC and i do crazy things.

There are multiple grammatical errors with this statement. Firstly, please, please, please, DON’T USE ACRONYMS WHEN IT IS NOT OBVIOUS TO WHOEVER IS READING THIS. I hope you fail English after you write this. This irks me and anyone who is reading this excuse of a website. You clearly know jack-all about making websites.

The use of the word “random” here is another feeble attempt to be edgy and cool. Please stop.

“builds this website”. I’m sorry, but you have made a very serious mistake in your grammar. The correct way to phrase it would be: “built this website”. Now we all know why our school’s standards are deproving – because of BARBARIANS like you.

“RIRC” See my first point about the acronyms.

“i do crazy things”. The common noun “i” MUST BE CAPITALISED. This is basic English here, that you can’t get correct. You’re clearly incompetent at this website creation business. Again, leading to the worsening of standards in our school.

 

Also, why on earth is your name located in a weird spot, below the “learn more button”. Your own name is supposed to be the first thing that visitors should see upon entering the website. Consider this, what use is it to know that some unknown person does this and that? Nothing, because it can clearly refer to other people in the world. Visitors are really annoyed by such practises.

Oh by the way, nice Google Analytics code with your tracking ID posted publicly. There is an extremely simple JS script that anyone can paste in the browser to give you fake webpage views and eventually get your account banned off analytics. It is, after all, GitHub pages. You really shouldn’t bother about how many people visit your site, because after all this crap, no one would. There isn’t even a simple robots.txt file to tell search engines to index this trash site, no one will be able to find it in even Google.

Oh by the way, great copy-pasting code from StackOverflow eh?

The “who-am-i” page

Another awfully done section of the website. Firstly, I’m horrified that you can’t even provide visitors with a simple button to move down in your one page scrolling website. By the way, one page scrolling can only make a website better. However, it seems that it turns this site into absolute garbage, as the creator has a poor implementation of one page scroll, and does not bother to use a library that gives more customisation. But whatever, seeing he is extremely incompetent anyway.

The image is an extremely poor representation of you. I mean, it is an extremely good representation. Why? Images of a person on a site that is meant to promote that person are meant to put the person in a good light. However, on this site, it puts the person in a bad light. In fact, he isn’t wearing a suit and tie? Why? Even if you don’t have one, can you at least wear your school uniform with a tie? Next, please don’t put an awfully blurry image. It shows how you’re blur-headed. Which by the way, is actually true. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, because any image of you, even if it looks gross AF, puts you in a good light, since you’re much worse than the image anyway.

I am currently a student in a school, and learning some HTML, CSS and Javascript on the side. I might be a bit the retarded. I made this website to test out my HTML and CSS.

“student in a school”. Thank you very much. What a helpful description of yourself! However, the school that you go to is revealed in your poor choice of wearing PE attire instead of uniform in the picture. Try harder next time.

“Javascript”. By the way, if you’re going to spell out JavaScript in full, spell out the rest in full. Or is it that you’re too incompetent to know that HTML stands for HyperText Markup Language? Oh, and one more thing, it’s JavaScript, not Javascript.

“I might be a bit the retarded”. Grammar, please. This is written English, not spoken English. I really want to direct you to an excellent website where you can learn some basic English grammar, but I’m too lazy to put it here. Also, the word “retarded” is extremely offensive.

“test out my HTML and CSS”. How absolutely nice of you to forget poor old JavaScript, which powers almost 95% of your website. Without it, your website would be horrendous, even more so than it already is.

Ok, I really cannot stand this anymore. Tommorow, we’ll continue about other parts of his site, including an illegaly downloaded movie which he makes available for free on his site. ON GITHUB! (By the way, I’ve reported the repository for “pirated content”)

Categories: LifeProgramming

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